Empathy>humanity

aquavitaecollective:

For months, every morning when my daughter was in preschool, I watched her construct an elaborate castle out of blocks, colorful plastic discs, bits of rope, ribbons and feathers, only to have the same little boy gleefully destroy it within seconds of its completion.

No matter how many times he did it, his parents never swooped in BEFORE the morning’s live 3-D reenactment of “Invasion of AstroMonster.” This is what they’d say repeatedly:

“You know! Boys will be boys!” 

“He’s just going through a phase!”

“He’s such a boy! He LOVES destroying things!”

“Oh my god! Girls and boys are SO different!”

“He. Just. Can’t. Help himself!”

I tried to teach my daughter how to stop this from happening. She asked him politely not to do it. We talked about some things she might do. She moved where she built. She stood in his way. She built a stronger foundation to the castle, so that, if he did get to it, she wouldn’t have to rebuild the whole thing. In the meantime, I imagine his parents thinking, “What red-blooded boy wouldn’t knock it down?”

She built a beautiful, glittery castle in a public space.

It was so tempting.

He just couldn’t control himself and, being a boy, had violent inclinations.

She had to keep her building safe.

Her consent didn’t matter. Besides, it’s not like she made a big fuss when he knocked it down. It wasn’t a “legitimate” knocking over if she didn’t throw a tantrum.

His desire — for power, destruction, control, whatever- - was understandable.

Maybe she “shouldn’t have gone to preschool” at all. OR, better if she just kept her building activities to home.

I know it’s a lurid metaphor, but I taught my daughter the preschool block precursor of don’t “get raped” and this child, Boy #1, did not learn the preschool equivalent of “don’t rape.

Not once did his parents talk to him about invading another person’s space and claiming for his own purposes something that was not his to claim. Respect for her and her work and words was not something he was learning.  How much of the boy’s behavior in coming years would be excused in these ways, be calibrated to meet these expectations and enforce the “rules” his parents kept repeating?

There was another boy who, similarly, decided to knock down her castle one day. When he did it his mother took him in hand, explained to him that it was not his to destroy, asked him how he thought my daughter felt after working so hard on her building and walked over with him so he could apologize. That probably wasn’t much fun for him, but he did not do it again.

There was a third child. He was really smart. He asked if he could knock her building down. She, beneficent ruler of all pre-circle-time castle construction, said yes… but only after she was done building it and said it was OK. They worked out a plan together and eventually he started building things with her and they would both knock the thing down with unadulterated joy. You can’t make this stuff up.

Take each of these three boys and consider what he might do when he’s older, say, at college, drunk at a party, mad at an ex-girlfriend who rebuffs him and uses words that she expects will be meaningful and respecte, “No, I don’t want to. Stop. Leave.”

The “overarching attitudinal characteristic” of abusive men is entitlement.

that third kid sounds great

rosalarian:

pleasestopbeingsad:

Street harassment is not a compliment.

Finally someone made a comic about my exact feelings

rosalarian:

pleasestopbeingsad:

Street harassment is not a compliment.

Finally someone made a comic about my exact feelings

For the record, I honestly don’t give a fuck how much cock you suck. Suck a thousand cocks. Suck a million cocks. There’s no such thing as a slut. That’s just a lie they told you born out of male anxiety. Anxiety about adultery and misattributed paternity.

Sex isn’t sinful either, though you can trace a lot of sexual repression and misogyny back to the Abrahamic religions. Before Emperor Constantine tried to replace the pagan religions with Christianity, they used to have sex in church. Sacred prostitution. Happened a lot in Mesopotamia, for example. And the Mesopotamians weren’t stupid either. They invented the fucking wheel.

It’s your body to do with as you please. If anyone tries to dictate a dick limit to you, they’re trying to take ownership of your body. And that’s slavery. If they call you a slut, that’s slavery. And I refuse it. Suck an infinite number of cocks for all I care. Just enjoy it.

Benedict Smith

For the anon who was worried wanting sex made her a whore.

(via benedictsmith)

thepoliticalfreakshow:

CNN’s Downward Spiral Into Nonsense: During Amanda Knox Interview, Chris Cuomo Bullies Amanda Knox Over Sexual Experiences, Bringing Her To Tears


When Amanda Knox was accused of murdering her roommate, Meredith Kercher, in 2007, the prosecution and the Italian media helped fuel baseless but titillating rumors that Knox was a sex fiend who killed Kercher for refusing to participate in an orgy. On Tuesday night, Chris Cuomo attempted to bully and shame the 25-year-old with his own theories about her sex life.

Cuomo peppered Knox with invasive questions about her sexual preferences, demanding to know if she was hiding “freaky sexual things”:

CUOMO: Were you into deviant sex? Insensitive question, but hey, we gotta get to what it is. This fuels the doubt. Were you into that kind of experimentation?

KNOX: No.

CUOMO: Did Meredith suspect you were into these types of things and created a barrier between the two of you?

KNOX: No.

CUOMO: And therefore you resented her because she was judging you? None of that?

KNOX: No. Absolutely not. There’s no evidence of that.

CUOMO: That’s the theory. Knox is into some freaky sexual things. She tried to pull in Meredith, who was a staid, buttoned-up Brit, she wasn’t into it, and it went wrong…That was in the discussion of the judges, yes?

KNOX: Absolutely. I was there in the courtroom when they were calling me things like “violent,” “whore,” and “deviant.” And it’s all untrue.

CUOMO: Where are they getting that from? Did you have any type of experimental activities that you’re embarrassed to talk about? That they know about?

KNOX: Well in the book I talk about all my sexual experiences, and I haven’t needed to talk about the details of that because they aren’t deviant. I wasn’t strapping on leather and bearing a whip. I’ve never done that.

CUOMO: No group activities?

KNOX: I’ve never taken part in an orgy, ever.

Watch it above.

As Knox became more agitated and appeared to be on the verge of tears, Cuomo continued to insist that someone must have told the prosecution that Knox had a secret kinky sex life, even asserting, “you’re a freak!” Finally, she burst out:

They didn’t get it from me, and they didn’t get it from witnesses. It literally came from the prosecution. And this is what I’ve been up against this entire time. This fact that the prosecution was projecting onto what happened their own theories about young women and women who are…I was sexually active. I was not sexually deviant.

Cuomo’s attempt to use suggestions of sexual deviance to bully Knox follows in a long tradition of public entitlement to scrutinize and judge female sexuality. The recent string of highly publicized sexual assaults has exposed how the media weaves narratives in which “drunk party girls” get what they deserve. Meanwhile, comprehensive sex education is stifled in many conservative states lest children become too comfortable with their sexuality.

However, many women are starting to call out their bullies, from Anne Hathaway’s cold response to questions about a revealing photo to 17-year-old Katelyn Campbell’s protest of an abstinence assembly that told students their mothers would hate them if they used birth control. Most recently, kidnap and rape victim Elizabeth Smart spoke out about the culture of sexual purity that taught her she was worthless after her rape. And Knox, staying composed in response to Cuomo’s probing, firmly refused to equate sexuality with guilt in the public eye.

[ThinkProgress]

lightbluenymphadora:

trvllngjwllr:

lustrousjaybird:

nomarion:

Blueberry?

So I was reading up on Avengers trivia and apparently RDJ kept food hidden all over this set and they couldn’t find where it was so they just kinda let him continue doing it. So that’s his actual food he’s offering and whenever he’s eating in a scene, it’s not scripted. He was just hungry.

RDJ is a squirrel

I will never NOT reblog this

asblasphemiescoalesce:

because a white women’s oppression is different from a poc women’s oppression, is different from a trans women’s oppression, is different from a trans man’s oppression, is different from a cis male’s oppression.

All of the minor identities add layers to one’s…

All of the numbers are according to the United States as of 2012.

I’m having trouble finding one of my sources. Most are here, but I was a shitty person and didn’t cite from the beginning >.>, which makes tracking them all down a major pain…(boohoo, my fault to begin with getting over myself) Some of it came about through observing arguments between trans people and anti-trans variants of feminism.  I’ve personally lived a ton of the violence against trans women (though I’ve never had a job, so I can’t attest to that… except for the not being hired in the first place part, possibly), and the effects of rape culture on us, and I consider myself a reputable source when writing. A lot of it is duh  stuff, like “trans women don’t get pregnant”(I would know, cause I’ve been trying to find a way to GET pregnant for several years now).

http://www.pay-equity.org/

http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2012/04/17/465806/charts-how-unequal-pay-is-even-more-unequal-for-some-women/

http://www.americanprogress.org/issues/lgbt/news/2012/04/16/11494/the-gay-and-transgender-wage-gap/

http://www.salon.com/2008/10/07/transgender_wage_gap/

http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/25/before-that-sex-change-think-about-your-next-paycheck/
 
http://transfeminism.tumblr.com/post/14146292092/the-wage-gap-and-white-privilege-trans-misogyny

http://www.econ.nyu.edu/user/wiswall/research/schilt_wiswall_transsexual.pdf

http://www.thetaskforce.org/downloads/reports/reports/ntds_full.pdf
 

Do you love me enough that I may be weak with you? Everyone loves strength, but do you love me for my weakness? That is the real test.
Alain de Botton, Essays in Love (via therjb)
What you SHOULD say to people dealing with any of these
Anxiety: This too shall pass, even if that sounds corny and cliche. Your anxiety will subside, you are not dying, you will not die from this, everything is going to be fine. Keep taking deep breaths, try and stay focused.
Depression: You are valid and your emotions are valid. You are a good, strong person, even if you don't feel like you are right now. Things DO get better, and I know you can get through this.
Sexual Orientation: Your body, your life, your bedroom. You choose what you do with it, and I get no say in the matter, because I am not you. I'll respect you no matter what.
Bipolar: The sun also rises. For all your bad days, weeks, or longer-- you also have good ones just beyond the horizon. You know better than anyone what it means to finally hit those "highs" in your life, and I hope that you just keep growing and strengthening yourself through your treatment to extend those happy moments.
Self harm: This is your body and I'll never pass judgement over you for the things you choose to do with it. However, you should really consider speaking with a counselor about this. Not because you're "bad", but because I just want you to be safe.
Eating disorders: It's okay to eat, you have permission. Eating will not make you fat, ugly, or worthless. Eating will make you strong, healthy, and lively. You deserve to eat, you deserve happiness.
Abuse: What they did was wrong, and you had no consenting part in it. You have no need to feel guilty or shamed, although I understand that may be exactly how you are feeling right now. They're the ones at fault here, and the ball is entirely in your court if you choose to report them for that, which you are rightfully entitled to do.
Suicide: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You are valuable and your existence is valuable. There are billions of people on this planet, and even if you think everyone hates you and no one cares, they do and they will. You can find so many friends and loved ones if you just allow yourself the time to look for them. The world turns out to be a beautiful place and you deserve to be alive to see that.
Sexual assault: What they did was vile and disgusting. Yes, you're now left with this horrible, traumatic event to move on from, but your life is not entirely lost. Recovery is possible, and an unfortunately large number of people have to go through that-- but they make it to the other side. So can you, you can do this. You're not dirty, you're not a "slut" or a "whore", you are a human being whose rights were violated. But you are strong, and I know you can move past this in due time.
Multiple Personality Disorder: I'll always love you no matter who you are. I only hope the absolute best for you during your recovery and treatment, and maybe one day I'll be so privileged as to love you as one whole.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: The pain of suddenly reliving horrific events is almost unimaginable for me. Please try and remember that although it feels like it's real and it's happening right now, that it's not. You are okay, you are fine, and you are safe. You are in the present here and now, and that past can't manifest itself again to come and physically hurt you. Everything is just fine, these feelings will pass and you're going to be okay.
Schizophrenia: I am real and I can promise you that. I care. Try and find something grounding for you, an object that you can cling to to help you distinguish between whether or not you're hallucinating. You are not a freak, you are not a monster. You're a human being with rights and emotions who happens to be ill right now.
COULD THIS BE ANY MORE PERFECT?!
primetimetucker:

thethings-wecarry:

woodenhear-t:

cock-zero:

callingoutbigotry:

angiewarhol:

WHAT THE FUCK

I just NOPEd the most forceful nope of my life

the whole fact that women as well think like this makes it worse

What the FUCK THOUGH ARE YOU KIDDING ME

This is what the product of rape culture is, people.

What the hell are you all completely brain dead?!

This terrifies me.

primetimetucker:

thethings-wecarry:

woodenhear-t:

cock-zero:

callingoutbigotry:

angiewarhol:

WHAT THE FUCK

I just NOPEd the most forceful nope of my life

the whole fact that women as well think like this makes it worse

What the FUCK THOUGH ARE YOU KIDDING ME

This is what the product of rape culture is, people.

What the hell are you all completely brain dead?!

This terrifies me.

kamenridercaoimhe:

dungeoncomplex:

melodeathgoddess:

dirksthong:

scary-monsters-and-davesprite:

celestial-deadzones:

fefetaspr1te:

iceprincessfionna:

bunnie-runn:

akantiasolaris:

bahaha-ha:

ladyvincira:

glorylizard:

sammneiland:

reidobiwa:

doctor-0:

alan wake
yeah no

The End.
Oh dear.

skyrim.
but its okay, i’m a vampire and leader of the thieves guild.
i’m also married to a hunky werewolf who fights with a giant axe.

amnesia
fuck. 

Max Payne 3.
…..I’d say I was safe if Max was guarding me but his track record for that is pretty poor.

Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage
So long as I’m not human, I should be just fine, lol

Twilight VS Walking I reckon I’ll be alright lol 

Pokemon.
YESSSSSSSSSSSS

Adventure Time: Hey Ice King! Why’d You Steal Our Garbage?!
I’m going to have many adventures and you get none.

kirby nightmare in dream land
i think im ok

SkyrimYesyesyesyesyes

Super Meat Boy
I am so fucked

left 4 dead 2
ovo well fuck

Tekken Tag Tournament 2
Well, it would suck because I can’t fight, but it would be good because I could make friends with people who can.  Like Anna Williams or Lili Rochefort.

I’m doomed to be reborn repeatedly after being blown up by a green hissing motherfucker.

Portal 2. I’m in space. The end.

um…. So… “My World, My Way” … . I don’t even know guys.

kamenridercaoimhe:

dungeoncomplex:

melodeathgoddess:

dirksthong:

scary-monsters-and-davesprite:

celestial-deadzones:

fefetaspr1te:

iceprincessfionna:

bunnie-runn:

akantiasolaris:

bahaha-ha:

ladyvincira:

glorylizard:

sammneiland:

reidobiwa:

doctor-0:

alan wake

yeah no

The End.

Oh dear.

skyrim.

but its okay, i’m a vampire and leader of the thieves guild.

i’m also married to a hunky werewolf who fights with a giant axe.

amnesia

fuck. 

Max Payne 3.

…..I’d say I was safe if Max was guarding me but his track record for that is pretty poor.

Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage

So long as I’m not human, I should be just fine, lol

Twilight VS Walking 
I reckon I’ll be alright lol 

Pokemon.


YESSSSSSSSSSSS

Adventure Time: Hey Ice King! Why’d You Steal Our Garbage?!

I’m going to have many adventures and you get none.

kirby nightmare in dream land

i think im ok

Skyrim
Yesyesyesyesyes

Super Meat Boy

I am so fucked

left 4 dead 2

ovo well fuck

Tekken Tag Tournament 2

Well, it would suck because I can’t fight, but it would be good because I could make friends with people who can.  Like Anna Williams or Lili Rochefort.

I’m doomed to be reborn repeatedly after being blown up by a green hissing motherfucker.

Portal 2. I’m in space. The end.

um…. So… “My World, My Way” … . I don’t even know guys.

manhating-babyeater:

protojammed:

colatechi:

darknephilim:

sluteverxxx:

manhating-babyeater:

Men, are you worried for your own safety because misandry?

You need to accept that misandry happens in the real world and take some precautions.

Take a self defense class, they’re only a couple hundred dollars a month.

Don’t go out after dark unless you have a woman to chaperone you. Misandrists are less likely to attack if they see you are with another woman.

Don’t wear anything too douchey. If you’re wearing a fedora or a sexist t-shirt, etc. you’re pretty much asking to get attacked. Misandrists can’t control themselves when they see a man in a fedora, their instincts kick in and before they know it they have a dead male corpse in their hands. Just be a good boy and don’t tempt them, okay?

Don’t ever invite a woman into your home. Misandrists will interpret this as you consenting to physical violence.

Drinking increases your risk of being attacked by a misandrist. They target drunk men because their inhibitions are lowered.

Never leave your drink unattended. Misandrists are notorious for poisoning men at parties and bars.

If a misandrist does attack you, be quiet and just let her finish or you might anger her further and you are liable to get murdered instead of just mutilated. But also, be sure to put up a good fight because a lot of men say they don’t want to be attacked by misandrists but deep down, they really like it.

And remember, accusing a woman of abusive misandry is worse than being abused by a misandrist. So before you make accusations, make sure it wasn’t all just a silly misunderstanding.

image

I’m laughing

Wow what? Guess what’s not okay- this. This is not okay. 8\ honestly, some people.

Pretty fucking much.

I wasn’t going to straight up say anything, but this mentality really is annoying.

  1. It pretty much slips any guy who’s annoyed with misandry into the same category as people who condone rape because a woman was asking for it.
  2. It validates misandry by making a joke of people who get annoyed by it.
  3. It pretty much is saying that we should just deal with it because women get it worse.

gj tumblr equality, gj

1. equating MRAs with rape apologists

2. making a joke out of people who get annoyed by misandry

3. and caring about women’s problems more than men’s make believe oppreshun

the stuff that makes life worth living!

Me: I have anxiety
What most people think I have: I'm shy and can't talk to people. I'm awwwwkwaaaard.
What I actually mean: I have full blown panic attacks which include heart palpitations, breathing problems, shaking, sweating and constant fear that I'm going to die when faced with situations I find uncomfortable.
tw: anti-trans slurs

zerofailure:

taleth:

> see gif of trans man’s cock being sucked

500 notes: “awesome!” “hot” “revolutionary~”

> see gif of trans woman’s being sucked

20 notes: “trannytime liked this” and 19 other notes similar to it

no srsly trans men never get male privilege

P much

If you are a woman, everything revolves around whether or not someone wants to fuck you. Instead of addressing “all bodies are beautiful” how about, “it is not necessary to be universally fuckable”?

mousesinger (formerly fempirestrikesback)

This is not a trivial distinction, in my unsolicited opinion.

(via genderagnostic)

Oh, yes, please. 

(via versatilequeen)